Aperture Sciencewas founded in 1953 by Cave Johnson for the sole purpose of making shower curtains for the U.S. military. However, after becoming mentally unstable from mercury poisoning in 1978, Johnson created a “three tier” research and development plan to make his organization successful.

The first two tiers, the “Heimlich Counter-Maneuver” and the “Take-A-Wish Foundation” (parodies of the Heimlich Maneuver and the “Make-a-Wish Foundation” respectively), were commercial failures and led to an investigation of the company by the U.S. Senate. However, when the investigative committee heard of the success of the third tier, a “man-sized ad-hoc quantum tunnel through physical space with possible applications as a shower curtain”, they recessed permanently and gave Aperture Science an open-ended contract to continue their

  1. roberthenryfischat says:

    sorry too big for my nose.

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